I spent some time listening to the 2011 Stu Stone album Return of the Stone Movement, and gathered some of my opinions to write in this review. Let’s start with the album artwork. Stu with no pants is not the coolest of covers. I will have to turn over my iPhone whenever I play it. On a positive note, I like that Stu is wearing the figurative “daddy pants” and the album is all about him. It was almost emasculating how the album with Jamie Kennedy had the name “Jamie Kennedy” about a thousand times bigger than the name “Stu Stone.” One complaint I do have is related to the iTunes categorizing of the album. It has it listed as a comedy album, which I don’t think it is. It should just say “rap/hip hop” if you want a little street cred, or call it “pop” or “dance” if you are a sellout. Calling it comedy demeans Stu as an artist and implies that his music is a joke. However, Stu seemed very determined to make a legitimate music album.
Now to the music. I know Stu plays the music all the time on his shows (TSM Radio and Sunday Nite Stu), but I usually do not hear it with the best audio quality. I was actually surprised that the music had a professional sound to it once I played it on my stereo. I was convinced that half the songs would be the programmed synthesizer beats from an old Casio keyboard. Instead, what I heard was actual music. Kudos for that. The sounds of the album ranged from early-1990s inspired rap to dance club tracks. “Give It Up” is perhaps my favorite song. It has a catchy beat and a good bass line. Many people only listen to music on ear buds and will miss this aspect. The song has a definite rap sound, but mixes in some of the better elements of a techno song without being annoyingly repetitive.
"Super Bird" is the "hit" single, but I don’t really like it all that much. It is very boastful, but no one other than Stu’s fans will believe the lyrics. "Memory Lane" is a decent Eminem-esque song. It is a little typical to have a "look back at my life" song on a rap album, but it’s still good. "Wassupwidit" features Young Church, and is thick with a 1990s hip hop beat. It makes me think of EPMD. All it needs is Eric Sermon bringing his overweight Downs Syndrome just-had-a-seizure lyrical flow to complete it. Next time, 909 can bring the Eric Sermon flow. "Stu Stoned" has a similar old school style to it. "Ordinary Girl" is a from-the-heart song and I’d love to see how someone reacts when she hears it.
The song “Breathe” is perhaps the best known song from this album since it was previously released by Kaz James. It has a pleasant electronic beat that is great for dancing or establishing a rhythm during masturbation. The song even tells you to breathe while masturbating, which is actually a good tip to prolong the pleasure. It was a good move by Stu to include songs that match “Breathe” in its tone and musical style (this includes “Doin Just Fine” and “Phake Wit da Phunk”). Even though these songs are less rap and more dance, they should satisfy people that may download the album thinking it would sound like the Kaz James song. “Barely Legal” is another song that is reminiscent of the song “Breathe.” The lyrics make me realize that Stu is on Stickam, a rich breeding ground for jailbait. Although I know Stu really should name the song “Barely Illegal” considering his past lust for 17 year olds.
On a negative note, the song “I’d Like to Know” made me think I was listening to a Crazy Town cover song (if you don’t remember, that’s the group that came out with the song “Butterfly”). I was disappointed that Stu didn’t stick with his anti-relationship vibe from “Ordinary Girl” and now he’s talking about how he loves some girl he hasn’t seen since summer. Pussy whipped. Then Stu turns from “pussy whipped” to just plain “pussy” once you get to the song “Love Song.” In addition to the pussy lyrics, it sounds like a sample used for autotune demonstrations. Unfortunately, the album doesn’t include an “after-autotune” version, only the “before-autotune” version. Then once we get to “She Don’t Know My Name”, Stu goes from “pussy” to just “completely gay.” The song at least has a catchy beat, which is its only saving grace. “Save the Gingers,” ends the album off on a good note with an upbeat sound and a positive message. I agree that there are some hot redheads and this song builds up gingers after South Park tore them down.
Overall, I think “Return of the Stone Movement” was worth buying. It’s not necessarily groundbreaking, and would not go with the all-time great albums like “The White Album” by The Beatles or “Fever” by Kylie Minogue. However, it is entertaining and something any Stu Stone fan should have. It has enough strong points to not feel like you completely wasted $9.99.
I give it 3 1/2 stars out of 5